No More Hiding
by JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: A slip up during an away mission forces first officer Kirk to realize her feelings for her captain. (Fem! Kirk/Pike)


Prompt #15  
A gentle "I love you" whispered after a soft kiss followed immediately by a stronger one (Pirk)

The Stars flying by outside a moving starship never failed to mesmerize Jamie Kirk. The beauty of the streaks of light, combined by the reminder of the sheer incomprehensible number of them never failed to calm her on stressful days. Even now, secluded in the least popular observation room, she still saw enough to gape in awe. If only she could wipe out her troubles as easily as the Enterprise sped through space. She'd be lucky if Pike didn't transfer her at once after her idiotic mistake.

She groaned again just thinking about it. It had been an away mission gone very south-she'd been in position to get a perfect shot to take out the baddie grappling with Pike, only for some reason, her hands shook so hard, she missed wildly and almost hit Spock. Uhura had ended up saving his bacon instead, and Jamie had freaked out, staring at her still quivering hands.

She was normally one of the best shots on the ship, which was one of the reasons Pike made her chief tactical officer. In that moment, though, she'd been useless and she hated herself for it, especially when she knew exactly what the reason for her sudden hesitation had been-the vivid image of seeing him nearly killed by a phaser all those months ago and knowing it would utterly crush her if he died.

They'd all been nice enough not to say anything, because that was the captain's job, but she could feel the strained silence as they no doubt wondered what in the world had suddenly taken over the first officer. On the transporter pad, he'd looked at her searchingly, then said, "Kirk, we'll talk, later. First, we've got to figure out just what the heck went on down there. Those natives were using technology they shouldn't even know about for at least two centuries. I want you and Spock to determine type and Origin of the weapons. Find out whose beaten us to breaking the Prime Directive for once."

She'd nodded mutely and gone off with Spock. After they'd determined the weapons were a mixture of Klingon, Romulan, and unknown, and endured a torturous debriefing where Jamie couldn't meet anyone's eyes, she'd fled when Pike got tied up with Starfleet.

Of course, he'd find her-he knew her too well, but she dreaded the thought of seeing disappointment in those familiar grey blue eyes, or the look of pity or revulsion if he found out her deeper secret.

Sure enough, the door swished open shortly and footsteps approached her from behind.

"There you are."

She didn't move.

"C'mon, Kirk, talk to me," he coaxed. "What happened down there?"

"I...I...I...don't really know, sir," she said, trying to keep professionally distant. "One second I was ready to blast that creature to smithereens, the next, I'm seeing you almost dying again and thinking I'm going to end up hitting you instead. My instincts normally override that kind of stuff, but not this time. I'm losing it, Chris, and that scares me."

He huffed a sigh and sat down on the nearest chair to her chosen spot on the floor.

"Jamie, you are not losing it. You had a flashback. Those things happen."

"But It could have gotten you killed!" She moaned. "If Uhura hadn't stepped up..."

"That's why we take a good sized team on this kind of mission: we have each other's backs," he told her. "There's got to be more to it. You haven't looked me in the eye once since we got back."

Jamie thought her spine would snap from the tension of holding it rigidly straight while she tried to think how to deflect. Finding no good solution he wouldn't see right through, she sighed.

"You're right. I'm afraid I may be...emotionally compromised, sir." She said. The "sir" was a dead giveaway that she was nervous and she kicked herself mentally for the lapse.

"How so?" He calmly pressed.

Jamie felt her face grow red as she spluttered out, "In the way where you'd rather die a thousand times over than see a certain person hurt, sir, because, well-you love them too much." She ended on a whisper, almost hoping he hadn't heard.

"Please don't me mad at me," she quickly added. "I've been trying to keep it under wraps, but this happened. I promise I won't say another word about it, but you asked, so I told you...sir." Oh, she was really a basket case. She hadn't used so many "sirs" since Admiral Anderson's visit.

There was a silence and she held her breath, dreading what he would say next.

"Enough with the Sir. We're off shift. Come here, Jamie," he urged. "It's Hard to talk like this. You know I won't bite."

She smiled weakly and scrambled up to join him, wondering where in the heck her Kirk confidence had gone when she needed it most.

"So are you're saying you're in love with me?"

Jamie nodded slowly. "Yep." She stared at her hands, which she'd kept clenched in her lap. Now was the moment of truth. She was a big girl, she could handle a little rejection.

A hand gently tilted her chin up and to the side so she had to look into his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat at the expression in them, which was not disgust, pity, or disappointment.

"Jamie T. Kirk, I didn't expect to hear you ever say that, but I confess it is most definitely not unwelcome and decidedly mutual."

She gaped in shock. "Really? So how long have we been pining after each other, then?"

"Three years, probably, on my part," he said. "Wasn't going to say anything for obvious reasons, but it wouldn't just go away."

"Wow," Jamie said, recovering her speech. "I was really bracing myself for the worst. I almost don't know how to react now," she admitted, face flushing at the way he kept looking at her. (Those eyes could turn her into a puddle with that warmth in them.)

He chuckled at her and leaned in close, planting a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you," he whispered and kissed her again, deeper this time and she responded eagerly.

She dropped her head onto his shoulder afterwards, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

"I take it you don't have plans to transfer me to some other ship?" She asked playfully. "You would have had every right to."

"No one is taking my favorite first officer until Starfleet says so." Chris declared firmly. "If these flashbacks keep happening, I may have to take you or myself off some away missions until we work out just what triggers them. We'll figure this out: together."

"I like the sound of that," Jamie agreed, lacing her fingers with his. "It was getting harder to keep it hidden. I think Bones already suspects something."

"That explains the dark looks he'd been giving me," Chris commented. "His protectiveness is showing. What do you think he'll do if we casually show some PDA at lunch tomorrow?" His eyes twinkled with mischief and Jamie giggled.

"I don't know, but I like the way you think, Chris." 


End file.
